I am getting older, and I am still not married. The idea of having to keep living alone torments me and makes me ill. It is very bad for my mental health. I have even had thoughts of suicide....

I have spent years begging God for a woman.... Why is He doing this to me? Years ago I was in love, but I was let down and ended up being very bitter and holding a grudge against her parents and others who were involved.... I am still resentful. Maybe God is punishing me, and wants me to live alone because of my bitterness....

I don’t want to keep living alone! ... I beg God for a wife! I’d be better off dead than to have to live alone!

Dear Friend,

We grieve with you over your emotional distress. But before going any further, we want to strongly recommend that you see your medical doctor and tell him about your thoughts of suicide. You may need medical help. Make an appointment today!

You are very angry with God, and you don’t understand why He has not answered your prayers. If you believe that He is punishing you for your past and current mistakes, then that would mean that it is His fault that you are not happy. You seem to view God as a harsh judge who is just waiting for someone to sin so that He can punish them and make them miserable.

Fortunately, you have it all wrong! God knew that we would sin, so He provided a way for His Son Jesus Christ to pay the penalty for those sins by dying on a cross. If we accept Christ and ask for forgiveness in His name, we don’t have to take the punishment ourselves. In fact, we even gain eternal life without having to pay for it!

However, being forgiven by God does not mean that we do not have to suffer the consequences of our actions. If I put my hand in the fire, I will get burned. The burns are not a punishment from God; they are the natural consequence of my actions. I can blame God for the burns, but I am the one who put my hand in the fire, so I must face the consequences of that action. You have been blaming God in much the same way that you blame your ex-girlfriend’s parents for the relationship that didn’t work out. Of course, we don’t know the details of that unhappy ending, but we do know that you still are resentful and blame them for what happened.

To attract a wife, you have to be the kind of person that a woman is looking for. Blame, resentment, and emotional distress do not attract women. Dwelling on the past and refusing to forgive are not attractive qualities either. You can change these negative characteristics by changing your way of thinking.

The best way to proceed is to make the decision to forgive all those who have wronged you, and then ask God to forgive you. Invite Christ to be your best friend, and begin to communicate with Him through prayer and reading the Scriptures. Start your reading with 1 Corinthians chapter 13. That is the love chapter of the Bible. Read it over and over, and determine to become a person who loves like that. If you do, it is much more likely that you will attract a woman who will be blessed to become your wife.

We wish you the best,

Linda

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