I want to confess that I’m addicted to women, so much so that I try to meet women on social networking sites so that I can take them to bed. My addiction is so bad that I even pay for prostitutes, and I don’t care how old they are, or their race or social class.... It has gotten worse in the last three years, to the extent that I am bankrupt from paying for prostitutes and dating....

It often crosses my mind that I could have a disease. Thank God, so far I haven’t had any symptoms or signs, but I’m afraid to get checked out by a doctor. I feel that it would destroy my life. I need a word of advice. Please counsel me, because I’m very weak.

Dear Friend,

We?re glad that you have admitted you have a problem and have decided that you want to change. The truth is that your life is already being destroyed by your addiction. And every new sexual encounter not only risks your health; it also makes you a potential father, financially responsible for a child for at least eighteen years.

You obviously have tried to stop your behavior, but you have been unsuccessful. That is because you cannot do it alone. You need help.

The first step to overcome this addition is to go and see a medical doctor. Explain that you are addicted and that you need a referral to a recovery group. The doctor will also want to have you tested for sexually transmitted diseases. You say that you are afraid to find out if you have a disease, but if you really want to change your life, then you must act in spite of the fear.

The doctor may explain to you that your brain produces chemicals during your sexual experiences. These chemicals cause you to feel a high that is similar to what other people feel when they take illegal drugs. And just as drug addicts cannot overcome their addictions without help, you cannot stop your behavior by yourself either.

Although you are sorry for the risk to your health and for the financial consequences that you are facing, we are not sure if you are truly sorry for the sin of sex outside of marriage. God designed sexual relationships to strength the loving bond that married people feel for one another. But your behavior has severed love and emotional commitment from sex. We believe that you will need a complete change of heart to ever be able to join those back together again in your relationship with your future wife.

God can help you once you are truly sorry for what you have done. His Son Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay for the eternal consequences of your sin. If you ask God to forgive you, and begin a personal relationship with Him, He will help you along the difficult road that you now face.

We wish you the best,

Linda

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