My partner hits me all the time for no reason. Yesterday he slapped me because I was at my friend’s house. He is embarrassed of me in front of other people, and he even had a relationship with another woman for a while. I don’t have any relative to confide in, and my mother died. Since her death, I have felt very emotionally dependent on him in spite of the fact that I am a working woman and very independent. I don’t know what to do to get out of this relationship that is hurting me and my kids.

Dear Friend,

We are very sad to hear your story. You say that you don’t know how to end the relationship even though he hits you and has been unfaithful to you. It is good that you realize that you must get away from him for your own safety and the safety of your children. But if you are not certain of that, please read Case 157 at message2conscience.com to find out more reasons why you must get away.

You don’t say that you are concerned about how your children would fare without him, so we are guessing that he is not their father. But either way, your relationship with him is a very bad example to them of how a man should treat a woman and of how a woman should allow herself to be treated. You should be very concerned about what they are learning from watching you.

You say that you have been emotionally dependent on him since your mother passed away. This is the only reason that you give for why you have stayed with him. We know that losing your mother was very traumatic, so you sought strength in him. But his strength is hurting you more than it is helping you. He is beating you down emotionally as well as physically.

If you really are an independent woman like you say, make a plan. Seek help from friends and from the social services in your country, if available. Do whatever you have to do to get away from him as soon as possible. Depending on the circumstances, this could mean that you make him leave your house or that you are the one who leaves his house. Either way, make sure that you are accompanied by friends when you tell him and up until the time that you are separated. Do not let him get another chance to hurt you more than he already has.

He has convinced you that he abuses you and has been unfaithful to you because you embarrass him. He has brainwashed you into believing this lie so that he can justify his actions. As you begin a new chapter of life, do not take that lie with you.

You are a child of God, who loves you very much. You are so valuable that He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross so that you could have all your sins forgiven and have a close and personal relationship with Him. God is the One who is strong enough to help you, so lean on Him.

We wish you the best,

Linda

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