The following topics are the most common ones that we deal with in the cases that we receive. Click on any topic to find links to those cases.

Marriage (Conflicts / Insults)

10, 44, 54, 95, 117, 123, 130, 140, 159, 162, 195, 232, 277, 279, 303, 306, 315, 316, 333, 345, 353, 379, 392, 397, 427, 435, 458, 466, 546, 550, 552, 572, 586

Marriage (Indifference / Expression of Affection)

45, 104, 115, 176, 178, 231, 235, 245, 280, 286, 317, 321, 455, 470, 489, 519, 542, 551, 587, 601

Marriage (Adultery / Infidelity)

4, 8, 29, 61, 71, 90, 106, 121, 141, 152, 166, 174, 178, 200, 216, 236, 259, 289, 301, 323, 334, 339, 347, 356, 368, 394, 412, 421, 447, 453, 484, 486, 504, 515, 524, 531, 540, 548, 562, 574, 598

Marriage (Spousal Abuse)

39, 51, 80, 107, 150, 157, 190, 243, 252, 275, 307, 332, 384, 406, 413, 467, 469, 582

Abandonment of Spouse

27, 30, 110, 126, 146, 182, 228, 311, 329, 334, 347, 481, 570, 580, 581

Jealousy / Envy

8, 39, 119, 248, 275, 298, 317, 378, 422, 430, 441, 458, 468, 516, 525, 526, 555, 567

Divorce

60, 94, 189, 219, 252, 316, 453, 461, 471, 532, 537, 538, 556, 560, 574

Cohabitation

41, 103, 108, 113, 153, 160, 213, 260, 310, 342, 399, 417, 420, 465, 473, 483, 494, 517, 520, 522, 525, 533, 537, 541, 544, 576, 584, 599, 600

Romantic Relationships / Courtship

28, 61, 66, 76, 83, 105, 121, 137, 145, 171, 181, 191, 192, 193, 206, 213, 223, 246, 248, 253, 256, 264, 265, 270, 276, 284, 285, 287, 296, 298, 300, 302, 308, 314, 324, 327, 328, 335, 365, 383, 386, 395, 396, 399, 415, 418, 428, 430, 433, 438, 472, 476, 482, 487, 496, 563, 575, 433, 438, 472, 476, 478, 479, 482, 487, 496, 534, 563, 575, 583, 589

Infatuation / Falling in Love

16, 50, 152, 184, 210, 232, 250, 259, 260, 300, 301, 308, 314, 324, 334, 346, 375, 402, 404, 424, 428, 440, 446, 450, 488, 493, 497, 515, 530, 534, 539, 577, 590

Sexual Immorality

12, 40, 28, 82, 89, 96, 118, 131, 145, 160, 168, 173, 191, 201, 218, 227, 233, 238, 247, 260, 269, 270, 284, 289, 290, 299, 310, 319, 325, 333, 350, 354, 365, 375, 383, 389, 396, 401, 407, 408, 411, 417, 436, 437, 456, 485, 487, 508, 517, 524, 525, 530, 533, 570 437, 456, 485, 487, 508, 517, 524, 525, 530, 533, 570

Pornography

7, 130, 186, 227, 288, 343, 408

Social Media / Internet

36, 64, 272, 322, 336, 346, 356, 361, 524

Family

5, 33, 46, 53, 55, 56, 81, 95, 100, 108, 114, 122, 128, 133, 138, 142, 161, 172, 188, 201, 207, 220, 221, 247, 258, 266, 319, 326, 327, 332, 388, 439, 463, 492, 506, 511, 520, 557, 567

In-laws

35, 85, 264, 279, 335, 362, 372, 414, 422, 442, 457, 505, 513

Parental Responsibility

6, 25, 27, 37, 89, 97, 98, 102, 109, 112, 113, 132, 144, 146, 147, 160, 179, 182, 203, 218, 219, 236, 238, 241, 251, 263, 267, 292, 302, 304, 312, 323, 329, 339, 342, 355, 364, 372, 376, 385, 416, 419, 421, 445, 456, 461, 462, 465, 505, 507, 528, 543, 599

Small children (Discipline / Instruction / Care)

26, 57, 59, 204, 240, 257, 271, 299, 305, 309, 311, 321, 348, 357, 381, 429, 434, 454, 471, 483, 503, 583, 585

Adolescents (Discipline / Instruction / Care)

19, 38, 72, 78, 87, 154, 169, 175, 211, 215, 217, 254, 263, 290, 343, 349, 352, 370, 390, 420, 479, 490, 522, 533, 541, 558

Adult children

70, 149, 164, 198, 226, 282, 283, 331, 377, 382, 423, 448, 478, 509, 554, 560, 578, 596

Responsibilities of children

9, 14, 20, 63, 111, 143, 155, 170, 214, 224, 244, 274, 291, 313, 337, 340, 358, 366, 371, 374, 400, 409, 452, 492, 518, 564

Adoption of Children

34, 57, 196, 204, 241, 257, 268

Abortion

1, 42, 127, 194, 233, 255, 268, 297, 369, 375, 387

Child Abuse / Rape

3, 11, 68, 73, 168, 177, 192, 201, 215, 225, 247, 290, 330, 344, 391, 407, 411, 437, 450, 485, 514, 519, 549, 563, 571, 573, 597

Abuse

3, 11, 23, 32, 41, 49, 68, 73, 77, 99, 103, 129, 134, 164, 168, 177, 180, 187, 200, 202, 219, 230, 237, 309, 312, 330, 335, 340, 345, 348, 349, 366, 380, 391, 392, 431, 484, 494, 502, 514, 518, 541, 548, 557, 566

Guilt

11, 42, 74, 90, 93, 96, 118, 151, 153, 158, 163, 170, 185, 189, 194, 203, 208, 225, 235, 249, 262, 268, 293, 297, 306, 312, 319, 325, 330, 338, 341, 344, 368, 369, 371, 374, 377, 387, 389, 391, 408, 443, 445, 451, 491, 495, 508, 514, 521, 543, 546, 559, 560, 569, 579, 593

Repentance

1, 96, 127, 148, 151, 158, 165, 187, 229, 255, 312, 336, 338, 354, 363, 387, 389, 425, 437, 507, 591, 594

Forgiveness

32, 45, 94, 139, 178, 255, 339, 349, 350, 361, 362, 379, 380, 382, 429, 453, 459, 513, 514, 518, 549, 571

Depression / Anxiety / Panic

31, 52, 86, 91, 100, 158, 239, 350, 369, 377, 393, 400, 443, 449, 460, 474, 475, 523, 528, 529, 565, 568, 577, 588, 595

Illness

13, 15, 31, 56, 67, 69, 75, 84, 86, 91, 115, 136, 167, 173, 193, 197, 209, 239, 249, 271, 320, 344, 356, 393, 444, 449, 457, 460, 464, 473, 474, 475, 480, 527, 529, 532, 553, 576, 595

Death

47, 52, 67, 75, 124, 156, 167, 183, 205, 261, 262, 351, 373, 495, 498

Finances

22, 48, 54, 66, 97, 138, 150, 161, 221, 222, 241, 242, 274, 276, 277, 318, 342, 359, 376, 378, 397, 400, 427, 432, 552, 564, 586

Work

58, 79, 97, 117, 142, 199, 220, 240, 266, 269, 277, 295, 296, 235, 371, 409, 432, 434, 452, 499, 501, 528

Bad Habits

2, 18, 38, 71, 83, 98, 148, 170, 212, 214, 226, 294, 326, 331, 341, 363, 388, 435, 436, 441, 485, 569

Lying

43, 62, 159, 220, 242, 258, 316, 322, 398, 401, 409, 491, 500, 514, 526, 556

Anger

23, 77, 125, 208, 230, 237, 295, 307, 348, 381, 382, 426, 431, 459, 469, 477, 497, 503, 512, 545, 547

Robbery / Fraud

17, 65, 101, 135, 148, 185, 211, 222, 242, 254, 281, 315, 371, 409, 510, 536, 592

The English translation of each case will be available here each week. A new case will be posted each Wednesday and will correspond with the case posted at conciencia.net. Please pray for these desperate people who are searching for answers! Pray for their immediate need, but more importantly, pray that God will speak to their hearts so that they may come to know Him in a personal way.

 
Case
Case 563

I am twenty-nine years old.... I became good friends with a woman... and then I decided to let her know that I love her and ask her to do me the honor of becoming my fiancée and then my wife.

She answered that she needed some time to think about it and get counseling. However, toward the end of our conversation she told me she was raped when she was a child.

I was surprised to hear that.... How should I handle this situation? If she says, “Yes, I accept,” how can I help her?

Dear Friend,

We are very sorry to hear about what happened with your girlfriend. The fact that she was willing to share her secret with you most likely means that she really cares for you and is taking your proposal seriously.

We have no way of knowing how this traumatic event has affected your girlfriend’s life. There are many factors that contribute to how well she has adjusted to the sad reality and to how much more she is capable of adjusting in the future.

In any case, she was very wise to reveal her secret to you right away. Hopefully that indicates that she completely understands that the rape was not her fault. She bears no responsibility for what happened, no matter what the circumstances were.

We agree that counseling for her, for you, and for the two of you together is necessary before you formalize any plans for the future. We highly recommend that you look for someone who is experienced in dealing with the survivors of sexual assault.

There is probably no reason why you cannot go on to have a very successful relationship and marriage, but you will be sabotaging your relationship if you do not deal with this issue before you get married. Counseling could take a year or two, so before you start, you must determine if you have the patience to see it through. If you don’t, or if you have doubts, it is much kinder to break up with her now rather than let her think that everything is proceeding toward marriage.

You ask how you can help your girlfriend if she agrees to marry you. The most important thing you can do is to listen with compassion when and if she chooses to talk about what happened. However, you should never ask her for more details than what she volunteers. Never, never, never bring the subject up, but be a good listener and comforter if she brings it up.

Your girlfriend may have more than the average level of anxiety and she could suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome. You must accept the fact that you cannot change her feelings through reasoning with her. You cannot talk her out of feeling afraid. The brain doesn’t work that way. You will definitely harm her more than help her if you cause her to feel guilty about her emotions.

Memorize the words from Psalm 56, verses 3 and 4: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise — in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” When your girlfriend shows any anxiety, don’t try to reason with her. Instead, quote this Bible passage in a calm and soothing voice. God’s Word, when quoted with love and compassion, brings peace. However, if she ever expresses any resistance to hearing these words, just keep silent and pray silently that God will comfort her.

We wish you the best,

Linda

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