Two years ago, my wife left to live in another country. She met a guy there and had a romantic relationship with him. She later confessed this betrayal, and I forgave her, but I lost trust in her. Now she wants to divorce me for that man.

I don’t want our marriage to be over, because I love her and believe that God can restore our marriage.... But in the meantime, I am suffering a lot and want to know if I should keep waiting for it to be restored.... I feel like she still loves me, but not like before.

Dear Friend,

We are so very sorry to hear about what has happened to you! You forgave your wife, only to find out that she still wants out of your marriage.

We are assuming, from all that you say, that you have not been unfaithful to your wife, nor have you abused her in any way. So her abandonment of you is not because of anything that you have done. In fact, it sounds like you have continued to do everything possible to save the marriage.

You say that you believe God can restore your marriage. We agree with you, and also believe that God sometimes works in miraculous ways in answer to our prayers.

It would be nice if we could quote a Bible passage to you that would assure you that your wife will return to you, but there isn’t any that promises such a thing. That’s because God will not force her to do something that she does not want to do. She, along with all of the rest of us, have what is called “free moral agency.” That means that she has the ability and the right to reject God even when He is reaching out to help her in answer to your prayers.

We also wish that there were a Bible passage that would guide you in what you should do now. The Biblical principle that applies to your case is that you have the right to be divorced from your wife because she has been unfaithful to you. But just because you have that right doesn’t mean that it is the right thing to do.

The advantage of having a close relationship with God is that, just as you speak to Him when you pray, He also will speak to you. It probably won’t be in an audible voice, but when you pray and ask Him to show you what to do, He will guide your steps and make it clear whether you should fight the divorce and continue to wait, or whether it is time to move on.

Those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ, God’s Son, as our Savior, and who follow Him on a continual basis, know that we have a great advantage. That’s because, in ourselves, we can only guess and hope for what would be best, whereas God knows exactly what is best. And He is more than willing to reveal it to us when we speak to Him and then listen to Him in prayer.

We wish you well,

Linda

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