My childhood was not a good one. I was sexually abused by my father when I was eight years old. Now, tragically, I followed in his footsteps and did the same thing to my daughter.

I am now serving a sentence for what I did. I feel guilty and hate myself for what happened. Is it true that God won’t forgive a sexual offender? Why did I relive that shamefulness? Why did the demon of rape return? Is it possible for me to receive God’s forgiveness?

Dear Friend,

You ask some good questions. The Bible has answers for some of your questions, but not all. We will help as much as we can.

It appears that you believe you were destined to repeat what your father did. If so, you are wrong. The Bible contains many historical accounts of people who did the opposite of what their parents did. Some, like the prophet Samuel, chose to serve God, while their children chose evil.1 Others, like King Amon, were evil, but their children, like Josiah, served God faithfully.2 These true accounts demonstrate that none of us are destined to repeat the mistakes of our parents.

However, when abuse is involved (physical or sexual), the victim’s perspective of right and wrong can become skewed. Some victims are made to believe that the abuse is normal and acceptable. We can’t know the details of your situation, but we do know that your father’s abuse planted thoughts in your brain that tempted you to do things that you might never have considered if you had not been abused yourself.

Nevertheless, when you, as a victim, chose to become a perpetrator, you sinned against your daughter and you sinned against God. The sin against your daughter deserves human justice. Consequently, it is possible that your daughter will never forgive you and that you will never have your family restored. But your sin against God deserves divine justice and eternal punishment. That’s why people have told you that God will never forgive you; but those people are misinformed.

When Jesus Christ, God’s Son, came to earth and lived a sinless life, He didn’t deserve any punishment. He was perfect. But He knew about the divine judgment that I deserve for my sins, and the divine justice that you deserve for your sins. Jesus chose to die on the cross to satisfy that divine justice and to pay the penalty for both of us.

However, even though the penalty for our sins has already been paid, that does not mean that we are automatically forgiven. We must confess our sins to God in prayer and ask Him to forgive us. He looks into our hearts and knows whether or not our repentance is sincere, and whether we are ready to follow His ways. He knows if we really just want to try and sneak in through the back door of heaven by saying the right password.

We encourage you to ask God for forgiveness, for eternal life, and to change your thoughts and motivations. He loves you in spite of everything that you have done.

We wish you well,

Linda
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1 1Sa 8:1-3
2 2Ch 33:6

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